Working From Home & Home Schooling

The outbreak of Coronavirus has given rise to the number of people working from home and meant a great deal of difficulty in achieving a good work-life balance. When children are also being home-schooled, we’re then also throwing a serious challenge into the mix.

Working with clients throughout the pandemic, I’ve seen a significant increase in anxiety and a sense of feeling out of control and ‘not good enough’ in my client work. Covid has had a real impact on the lives of us all and has triggered deep emotional turmoil in those that strive to maintain control of their lives on a daily basis.

The impact of Coronavirus

We have spent years putting our lives together, building a family, a career, friendships, hobbies etc just to have this all put at risk by an unseen but highly contagious enemy and the problem is that we don’t always see this as clearly as we need to. As human beings we begin to wonder what it is we are doing wrong or poorly, what we should be doing to manage our situations, how good a parent we are, whether we’re achieving a high enough standard in work, whether we’re proving to be a good enough partner or friend or daughter or grandson. We’ve had our freedom and control taken away by an external influence but we internalise the issue, we blame ourselves and feel guilty that we can’t be there for friends in need or offer our children the activities they need to flourish. We worry we might be fired from our jobs or our relationships will suffer and we put pressure on ourselves to do better.

On top of all of this is the individual loss of lots of things that help us stay well, to go to the gym, take a weekend break, throw a party, meet with friends, attend a class, or book a holiday. Our lives have changed and it’s difficult to adapt when you’re dealing with so much in one space and not finding the opportunity to take a break from it all.

Our family lives, our working days, our socialising, our exercising, our relaxing activities, our celebrations, our childcare, our sleeping routines, our cleaning, our lunch breaks etc all take place in the same environment, and we can struggle to separate these things out from each other. We work longer, we take less breaks, we eat at our desks – if we own a desk, our routines slide, we go to bed later and get up later, we don’t shower in the mornings, we spend so much time educating the children that we’ve little energy and patience left to have fun with them. This is all going to take its toll.

And then we have to try and focus on work. 

Reduce the pressure

How realistic is it that we will be able to be as productive as usual when there is little escape from the distractions all around us. When office-based we will also find distractions however these are usually welcome little breaks from the work we are undertaking but at home, these become frustrations, inconveniences that take away our concentration. Our mood may suffer and our stress levels increase which will further impact concentration levels. We don’t have the opportunity to run things by our colleagues and miss the camaraderie and feel isolated and ‘out of the loop’ and we feel guilty that we’re leaving the children to their own devices when we’ve no other option.

Would you expect the same high standards from others? Or would you tell them to give themselves a break? We’re only human, we can only do so much, and this is a situation none of us have ever had to deal with before. We’re all trying to find our own way through it in the best way we possibly can.

I suppose what I’m saying is, our standards are going to drop and we need to be okay with that. We need to challenge our expectations of ourselves and take the pressure off. We need to accept that for a while, things are not going to be great, but that we are still doing our best under the circumstances. Can we realistically expect anything more from ourselves?  

Under the rooves of our houses, we will all be playing out a whole host of different roles and trying to do them all well. I encourage you to consider how much time and energy you have for each. If one needs to slide to accommodate another then it must slide, and you’d be better able to do this if you also let the guilt and shame and thoughts of “I’m not good enough” slide with it.

It’s going to be useful to be honest with your line manager, help them understand the challenges you’re facing at home in order to again reduce the pressure on the quantity and quality of work expected of you. I appreciate that not all managers will be sympathetic but it may help you feel better that you’ve explained the reduction. Your managers aren’t likely to forget your usual high standards simply because they’ve taken a bit of a decline during a global pandemic. They may be struggling themselves.

Practise self-care

What I’m also encouraging is self-care. If you look after you first, you’ll be much better able to give something of yourself to those around you where needed. No child wants a grouchy parent so take some time for you, give yourself what you need before you sit with them with a piece of school work, before you put them in the bath, before you cook dinner, before you clean up the mess, before you put them to bed. If you can’t find a minute to yourself, involve them in an activity you want to do, some yoga, some meditation, a woodland walk, some reading, some colouring even (this is very calming and focuses the mind) until they’re in bed and you have some time for you (and your partner), you need to replenish and re-energise for another day.

If you are able, try to do different activities in different rooms, eat in the kitchen, sleep in the bedroom, work in the living room, exercise in the garden etc. The more you can separate out the different elements of your day, the easier it will feel to move between these activities. And set a good structure for these. Stick to bedtimes and morning routines.

And get a good night’s sleep. It can be easy to feel that, after a long day, you need that extra hour to enjoy some downtime before bed but, if you’re waking up tired, you’re only going to feel worse about your situation. A good night’s sleep is vital to both our mental and physical wellbeing. You can stay up that bit later at the weekend! If you’re struggling to sleep, this may well be down to the pressure you’re putting on yourself and the worries that come along with it, take the weight off. You can find some sleep tips here.

A reminder

You’re doing the best you can. You are good enough. Everyone else is struggling as well (even if they’re not letting on). You’re a human being with limits. Your kids still love you. Look after yourself. Take some time off if it’s all getting too much.

And if you’d like to take an hour out of your day to offload and talk through these pressures, please feel free to reach out here.