Couples Counselling

When every conversation seems to end in the same place. You try to explain how you feel. Your partner hears criticism.
They defend themselves. You feel dismissed.

One of you gets angry. The other shuts down.

And before long, you're having the same argument you've had countless times before, even though neither of you wanted it to end this way.

Sometimes relationships don't reach breaking point because two people have stopped caring. They struggle because somewhere along the way, you've stopped being able to hear each other.

Couples counselling offers you somewhere to slow those conversations down and begin understanding what's really happening between you. It's not about deciding who's right. When relationships become difficult, it's easy to focus on what the other person is doing wrong.

But underneath an argument about money, housework, sex, family, parenting or whose turn it was to do something, there can be something much more important trying to be heard.

Do I matter to you?
Are you listening to me?
Can I trust you?
Why don't you understand what I need?
Am I good enough for you?
Are we still on the same side?

In our sessions, my role isn't to take sides or decide which of you is right. I'll help you explore the patterns that have developed between you and create space for each of you to talk, and to be heard.

Together, we can look at how you communicate, what triggers difficult reactions, the assumptions you make about each other, and what each of you brings into the relationship from your own experiences.

You may begin to recognise that criticism is sometimes hiding hurt. That anger can be protecting vulnerability. That withdrawing from an argument can feel like rejection to one person and self-protection to the other.

Understanding the pattern doesn't mean ignoring behaviour that needs to change. It means recognising what happens between you, so you have a better chance of responding differently.

Finding a way forward. For some couples, counselling is about reconnecting. For others, it's about rebuilding trust after something has happened, communicating more effectively, setting healthier boundaries or understanding whether both people still want the same things.

And sometimes couples counselling helps two people recognise that their relationship needs to end and find a healthier way to navigate that decision.

There isn't a predetermined outcome that I'll steer you towards. Instead, I'll help you have conversations that may have become too difficult to have on your own, understand yourselves and each other more clearly, and consider what needs to change.

Because the aim isn't simply to stop arguing.

It's to understand what's happening between you when you do.

The service is on the accredited register with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the service is run in line with their ethical framework which can be found here.