When Love Feels Like Conflict

Resource library

A red envelope behind a paper with the CBT Cycle diagram, showing thoughts, emotions, behavior, physiology, and sensation, with notes on feelings like shame, sadness, anger, and physical symptoms such as feeling shaky, tight chest, sweaty palms, and advice for coping.

CBT Cycle

Understand how your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and behaviours are all connected.

This simple diagram illustrates the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) cycle, showing how a negative thought like "I'm not good enough" can trigger feelings of shame, physical symptoms like a tight chest, and behaviours such as seeking reassurance or lashing out. Recognising the cycle is the first step to breaking it.

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A person holding a pamphlet titled 'Cheerleading affirmations List' with a silhouette of a cheerleader. The pamphlet contains various positive affirmations in speech bubbles, and a small yellow logo of Clarendon Counselling at the bottom.

Cheerleading Affirmations List

Sometimes we all need a reminder that our feelings are valid and our needs matter.

This affirmations list offers gentle, compassionate phrases drawn from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). The aim is to help you or someone you care about feel seen, supported and reassured.

Keep it somewhere visible, or share it with a loved one who needs to hear these words today.

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A person holding a tablet displaying instructions for Sensate Focus exercises while sitting on a light-colored sofa.

Sensate Focus Exercise

A step-by-step guide to rebuilding physical intimacy and trust with your partner.

Sensate focus is a widely used therapeutic technique that gently reintroduces touch in a pressure-free way, progressing gradually from non-sexual connection through to mutual physical intimacy.

Ideal for couples looking to slow down, reconnect, and rebuild confidence together.

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