Do Therapists Give Advice?
If you’re considering attending counselling because you have found yourself in a state of uncertainty in life, it can be tempting to ask for advice and guidance and, in the absence of someone close to you, a therapist can seem like a good choice. However….
As a rule, therapy is not about advice giving. A good therapist will support you to find the right choices for you by encouraging you to make decisions that feel right to you, help you explore any internal conflict, and support you to manage your life choices independently.
Empowerment is a term used extensively in the counselling field. Therapists empower their clients to take control of their lives, their decisions, their thoughts and behaviours, and their feelings, by exploring each aspect of their client’s difficulties that are leaving the client in need of advice from an external source.
Don’t get me wrong, we all need advice and guidance at times when it comes to navigating things we’ve never done before, things we have no knowledge of, and things we need to understand better, but when it comes to ourselves, nobody is a better expert than we are. A therapist will help you discover that deeper understanding of who you are and the experiences that have shaped you whilst identifying your existing inner resources and skills to do the things you are worried about doing.
Anxiety and worry around decision making is a topic for therapy in itself. In exploring the issues surrounding this and how this has developed, your therapy will allow you to challenge your own beliefs about yourself and your abilities to the extent that you will no longer need advice in making choices for yourself.
For example
If you are fearful of making mistakes, your therapist will support you to identify unhelpful thinking patterns and perfectionist tendencies and feel good enough in yourself to not worry so much about getting it wrong.
If you believe you’re not good enough to make choices that impact you positively, your therapist will explore your ‘evidence’ for and against this firmly held belief and help you to let go of this, building your self-esteem and sense of worthiness.
If you are worried about what other people will think about your decisions, or how they may be impacted by them, your therapist will encourage you to find self-belief and autonomy in your own decision making and explore your responsibilities towards others’ feelings.
If you are used to others making your decisions for you, your counsellor will help you develop your confidence and encourage you to take control of your future in a way that feels right for you, building your independence as you go.
This is by no means an exhaustive list as there can be many reasons we find it difficult to practice decision making independently but, if you can commit to therapy for a period of time, you will find the ability to recognise your thinking patterns and any avoidance behaviours and will begin to overcome these with the support of your therapist until you find your answers for yourself.
It can feel frustrating that there is no quick answer and nobody with enough wisdom to make the right decisions for us, it would be a much easier ‘fix,’ but it’s so worth taking the long route and finding the wisdom that lives inside you just waiting to be trusted, and a therapist can most certainly support you with that.
Why not make a decision today to work toward independence, autonomy, self-confidence, and a more relaxed attitude to those big life decisions by contacting us to arrange your initial appointment here.
