What If I’m Too Much For My Therapist?

Have you found yourself worrying that the difficulties you need to bring to therapy are too much for a therapist to cope with? Let me start by saying that the reason you’re worrying about it is likely because it feels too much for you to cope with and you can’t imagine how anyone else is going to be able to manage it. 

It’s good of you to worry about offloading all of your challenges onto someone else but the good news is, your therapist will definitely be able to deal with it. It’s their job to support you to manage it all, not the other way around. 

It’s quite normal for clients to be concerned about sharing too much and it’s also quite normal for clients to get everything off their chest in the first session or two and apologise for all their ‘stuff.’ It helps to understand that your therapist wants to hear it all. They want to provide you with the space to explore everything. 

Your therapist is well trained in managing a client’s story, putting everything where it needs to be in order to make sense of it all which they will feed back to you to make sure they’re getting it all right. They will focus on some things more than others, they will ask for more clarification and more understanding and they will be genuinely interested in hearing even more in order for them to support you to put your challenges where they need to be so you can be free from carrying them all round.

They will summarise all the different elements of your thoughts and feelings and experiences and offer them to you in a neat package where possible, in order for you to feel heard and understood and like your ‘stuff’ isn’t quite as overwhelming as it might first have seemed. Over time, this also helps you to feel less overwhelmed as well, as everything begins to come together and you feel able to talk about it with more clarity.

It's difficult to describe this process as it is better to be experienced to gain a fuller understanding of the benefit of talking things through. If you need more than one, or two, or three sessions to give your therapist the full history, then so be it. They will manage. I guarantee it.

Let’s not forget that your therapist only has to focus on you and your story for 50-60 minutes before they jot some notes down and move on to the next client. They aren’t carrying it around like you are. It’s very manageable, no matter how difficult your story might be to hear during the session.

Your therapist has regular supervision that they can offload any difficulties to. You have your therapist. You can all work through it together. Piece by piece if it’s easier for you that way but please don’t be afraid to give your therapist the bigger picture from the get-go. 

In the unlikely event your chosen therapist does feel out of their depth, they’ll tell you. They will want you to find a therapist that is able to hold your story and offer you the expertise that you might need.

As a therapist, I often get asked how I switch off after a day of counselling clients and I can honestly say that this isn’t a conscious process, your stuff is yours, I’m simply there to help you sift through it before I go back to my own life. Unless I feel I need some learning around the issues you’re bringing, I don’t think about it until the next session when I pick my notes back up.

So, do you think your therapist can manage 50 minutes of your story? They can. They will. If there’s a lot to tell, and a lot to manage, you’d better get started!

We’re here for you if you’d like to reach out today. You can speak to us via our contact page 

We look forward to hearing your story. You will never be too much.